Soloist does pseudo-religious version of current hot country
tune to taped accompaniment +10
Tape
wow and flutter are audible, 5 bonus points
Groom and attendants have ties, cummerbunds, and/or vests
that match the bridesmaids’ dresses which are other than black. +10 points.
Add 5 bonus points for each color
on groom and attendants beyond black, white, and bridesmaid's color.
Subtract 5 points for tasteful boutonniere
that complements wedding colors.
In spite of professional photographer, large circle of
attendees photograph every event with annoying flashes, 5 points.
Photographer
is dressed in wedding attire, -3
Photographer
is dressed to film episode of Crocodile Hunter, +5
Photographer
interrupts ceremony with audible motor drive +10
Preacher is miked up; bride and grooms vows are inaudible, +10
Male Preacher has clearly more expensive hairdo than bride,
+5
Cake is served in the church basement with NO alcohol permitted,
+10 pts
Someone
spikes punch -- spontaneous party breaks out.
Forget score and have a good time
Groom pulls off bride's garter with teeth, +15
Bride and groom crush wedding cake into each other's faces;
+20
Audible
slaps result +5
Bride
and groom engage in serious fisticuffs, must be pulled apart by attendants, +50
Dollar dance +10
Dance with bride auctioned off +40
Wedding night with bride auctioned off -cease scoring. This is a professional operation and your
amateur standing is in jeopardy.
Score
150+ Record category tacky. Contact Guinness Book of Records.
100-149: Your subscription to Architectural
Digest is hereby revoked, to be replaced with American Truck Stops
55 – 100: Pretty tacky, but not really outstanding
in any category
Below 55, Some attempt to have a little class
evident -- event might have been salvaged with a little effort.
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